


Caleb's Demons

by dementorsatemysoup



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: An Attempt At Comfort, Angst, Cad Just Wants To Help, Emotional Hurt, Flashbacks, Frumpkin (Critical Role) is an Emotional Support Animal, Gen, M/M, Past Character Death, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-13
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-10-09 06:23:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17401673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dementorsatemysoup/pseuds/dementorsatemysoup
Summary: An innocent question reminds Caleb he's nowhere near ready for affection.





	Caleb's Demons

**Author's Note:**

> I wanna write something long and fluffy about these two, but all I can come up with is angst and pain. Go figure.
> 
> Thank you for taking the time to read this and drop me a comment if you get the chance.
> 
> Bye!!

“Do you have a good relationship with your parents, Mister Caleb?”

The question caught Caleb off guard. Slowly, he looked up from his book, his eyes settling on Caduceus’ openly curious face. He felt a lump form in his throat, his stomach seizing painfully, and he had to quickly look at his book to hide the tears that formed in the corner of his eyes.

He coughed softly, nodding his head. “We were close.”

“Were? Are they no longer alive?”

Caleb stared at his book, mind too far away to take in any of the words. His breath hitched as he was transported back to his home against his will. He could feel the heat on his face, the familiar scent of smoke lingering in the air, the unmistakable sound of his parents’ screams piercing his ears. Astrid’s voice was harsh when she told him to get up while Eodwulf tugged on his arm, trying to haul him to his feet.

“ _Leave him_ ,” Astrid finally snapped in Zemnian.

“ _But Astrid_ …”

“ _I said leave him_.”

He forced himself back to the present, closing his eyes, knowing the rest was nothing more than a black hole in an otherwise perfect memory. He drew away when he saw Caduceus reaching out to touch his shoulder, curling his arms around himself, fighting to catch his breath.

“Are you okay?” Caduceus asked, pulling his hand away, brow furrowed in worry.

He nodded, not trusting himself to speak. He took a moment to compose himself before closing his book and struggling to his feet, murmuring, “I am going to bed.”

Caduceus stood up, too, his head brushing the ceiling of the attic room they’ve rented. He looked distressed, his arms half raised like he desperately wanted to reach out and comfort Caleb. “I didn’t mean to upset you, Mister Caleb.”

“You didn’t,” Caleb lied, forcing a reassuring smile on his face. “I am just really tired.”

“Should I go get Miss Nott?”

He shook his head, snapping his fingers. Frumpkin appeared on one of the three beds scattered across the room, bright blue eyes lazily flicking between Caleb and Caduceus. He jumped down, twining his body between Caduceus’ legs twice before moving towards Caleb and hopping up onto his shoulder.

Caleb stroked his head, letting the soft purr emitting from Frumpkin calm him, and he relaxed just a bit. Reluctantly, he set his cat onto the bed he and Nott shared, taking his time getting ready for bed, hoping Caduceus would take the hint and go downstairs to join the others, but he could sense him still standing by the door.

“I really am going to bed,” Caleb told him, keeping his back to him. “You can go downstairs if you’d like.”

“I’m sorry, Mister Caleb,” Caduceus said quietly.

“For what?”

“For causing you pain.”

Caleb hunched his shoulders, his lips turning up into a self-deprecating smile, and he shook his head. “I can assure you, Caduceus, you are not the cause of my pain.”

“Even so, I wish I could help you.”

Caleb’s breath hitched again and he slowly turned around, facing Caduceus’ helpless expression. “The only person who can help me is me.”

“Can I at least…?” Caduceus trailed off, suddenly looking unsure.

“I’m listening.”

“Can I at least hug you?” he tried again, voice careful and soft.

“I am not sure that is a good idea.”

“Why?”

“Because-” Caleb sighed, his shoulders sagging in defeat. “Because I don’t deserve any comfort.”

“That’s not true.”

“It is.” Caleb turned back to his bag, shoving his coat inside, and murmured over his shoulder. “Thank you for your concern, Caduceus. I do appreciate it, but I wish to be alone right now.” He laid down on his bed, keeping his back to the door, curling around Frumpkin.

Caduceus lingered for a moment longer before sighing and saying, “If you wish. Good night, Mister Caleb.”

Caleb waited until he heard the door close before whispering, “Good night, Caduceus.”


End file.
